You're so nebulous sometimes
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
