champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
