he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
