well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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