The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize