hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
