Cold hands, warm shart.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say Iām growing up
I mean, heās listed as āAndrew DC Threesomeā in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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