the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
