smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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