isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
