I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
