Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
