I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
