I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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