And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
