On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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