im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
