If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Even my vagina gasped.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
