I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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