Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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