Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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