Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
