you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
