What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
