Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Oops wrong number
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
