doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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