Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
