found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
