I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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