Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
