Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
