We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
