I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
