I wish I could teleport
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
