I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
