If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize