R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
