i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
