i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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