That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
