Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
