two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
