Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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