Screwed.edu
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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