Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
