This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize