who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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