it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
