I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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