these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
