ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
