I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
