I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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