Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
