Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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