It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
