Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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