Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
