I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
